You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
