cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
