Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Houston, we have a blender
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
