Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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