Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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