my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She needs sedatives and a leash
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
