I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
