I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
