Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dear god my vagina.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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