yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This girl is more easily done than said...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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