A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
