I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
