He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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