you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
