i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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