On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize