I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
