is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
