PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
did you just send me my own nude
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
