i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He? As in you personified your dick?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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