somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Randomize
