Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
