he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
