It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cannot find my penis.
Duck Duck Cougar?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
