just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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