Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
