apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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