Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
