there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
