Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
