So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
