We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
well you can't waste a boner
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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