therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
