hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pants are for mortals
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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