I think my vagina is haunted
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
