good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Even my vagina gasped.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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