i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
