I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
how do you play pong handcuffed?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
