his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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