ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
