just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
