she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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