Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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