i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize