Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She announced her abortion via fbk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
