he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
