drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
