Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
