A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
