I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
