Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
