My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
