Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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