I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
