you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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