Swine flu. Run for my life!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
