Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize