You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
