After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
