he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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